The X Factor: Noooooo!

It has been a tumultuous weekend here. Normally, we watch the Australian X Factor on a Thursday (with the results on Friday). Then, on Sunday night we watch the UK version on You Tube, with the results to follow on Monday. That's 4 evenings out of 7 taken care of.

Friday was the last Aussie show of the year, with the winner being the quite outstanding Altiyan Childs. So no more X Factor there.

Then, this morning we found out that the UK X factor exits were truly shocking. Gone is Wagner, half pantomime-comedy act, half creepy uncle. Gone also is paper-thin voiced cardboard cut-out villain of the show, Katie, who we love to hate along with the rest of the country. We're not sure why she is so unpopular because we do not have access to the News of the World.

That really is the two last reasons to watch the show gone. Cher is very talented, but we are a bit old to care. Same for One Direction. Rebecca is super-boring, I don't even bother watching Matt, Mary is sometimes quite good and I can't even remember who the other one is.

So with no UK X Factor worth watching and no Aussie X Factor at all I don't know how we are going to fill our evenings any more.

Boo The X Factor! Boo!

I can't believe that Aiden is out of the X Factor and that Katie has survived. I can't believe it. Jo and I have just finished reading about it on the Guardian liveblog and we are both reeling. So much so that we almost can't be bothered to read the new I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here liveblog.

Why watch TV when you can just read about it from someone who is watching it and summarising it on a minute by minute basis?

Tales of the Slightly Unexpected

We have been away for the weekend, camping in the Balmoral Forest, a pine plantation north of Chrictchurch. It is beside the shallow and fast flowing Hurunui river.

The campsite is free and a real Kiwi experience. Lots of people were camping there, most of them in huge tent and gazebo complexes and with masses of equipment, like motorbikes or complete kitchens. Other people were in converted buses complete with solar panels, satellite dishes and wind turbines.

In some ways it was a bit like Asia, with lots of interesting things going on that you wouldn't normally see. Here's what was happening:

• A man was riding around on his bike with his daughter sitting on his shoulders.
• In the river a man was surfing, standing upright and hanging onto a rope attached to a car whilst the water rushed past underneath him.
• A quad bike went past with 6 people hanging off the corners.

It's not a different world. My equalibrium wasn't shifted sideways by what went on. But it was all slightly different.

Making Pancakes

Last week I wanted to make pancakes but I couldn't remember how. So I looked for a recipe in the Edmonds Cookbook, a book written in 1955 by the Edmonds flour company to tell you how to cook all the basics. Every kiwi household has one. Over the years it has sold 1 million copies which is a lot in a country with only 4 million people.

So I was quite surprised to see what the current recipe for pancakes is. The ingredients needed were 1 packet of Edmonds pancake mix. The instructions were: "make pancake mix according to packet directions".

It's nothing short of a scandal!

Pictures from Pranburi

Here are some pictures from our trip to Thailand on the way home from England.

Toby and myself in the hotel pool. Toby wasn't a big fan of swimming but he was quite keen on standing in the shallow water at the top of the stairs and holding onto the rails.

On the boat on the way to monkeys island, so called because it is an island infested with monkeys.
Riding elephants at Hua Hin.

Lily and myself took a motorbike up and down the seafront. The Thais can fit a family of 4 onto a scooter like this one.

3 on a Bike

We bought another bike helmet yesterday so I can now get both children on my bike. They are pretty heavy between the two of them but I enjoy cycling round the town with my more exotic than average transport. Children point and say "wow". I feel like the bees knees.

Fireworks

Yesterday was the Rolleston Firework Party. It was unexpectedly amazing! There were thousands of people there. There was a bouncy castle in the shape of the titanic sinking into the sea, merry go rounds and an amazing thing where people got into inflatable spheres and tried to walk on water like a hamster in a ball. The army band from up the road played as well. It was good and the park was packed. It was a bit too crowded for my liking actually. I am not used to go to things and there being other people around. It was quite claustrophobic. I felt a bit panicky. Lily loved the fireworks.

The X Factor

One of the things we most liked about going back to England was, as you would expect, watching the X Factor. There is nothing quite like it here. The over the top performances. The way the whole country talks about it incessantly. Cheryl Cole and her precarious mental state. Simon Cowell. Wagner.

They do have the X Factor Australia. Its a lower key version of the UK one with Natelie Imbruglia instead of Danii Minogue. Not quite the same though.

So we have spent this evening catchig up with the last two weeks performances via You Tube. It's a new dimension in home entertainment!

Kiwi AA

I had a puncture at the weekend so I called the AA. I couldn't get the nuts undone.

They didn't have a van. A man turned up in a pick up truck. Very quickly (within 10 minutes). But he didn't exactly fix it for me.

"I'll just crack the nuts for you" he said. "I've got my tea on. You look like you could finish it off."

And two minutes later he was gone, leaving me to fit the wheel. Which I did.

Jake: Holiday Camp or Prison Camp?

WIth my departure imminent, the question is, shall I send Jake to the luxury Kennels, the one that advertises itself as a holiday camp for dogs, or the more basic kennels, whish is a bit like a prison camp (but much cheaper).

Should Jake have an indoor heated kennel, a walk three times a day and access to a swimming pool? Or should he be kept in a cage and allowed out into a concrete yard for ten minutes a day?

Jake is quite unfriendly and happy to be left alone so I had thought I would save the money and send him to prison for a month. But I can't bring myself to do it and he is off to Bunny Lodge.

It has been pointed out that it would be cheaper to re-home him and get a new dog when we get home. I wonder what Jo would think of that...

Things I am looking forward to in England

I am back in England on Saturday for the first time in 4 years. Here is a list of things I am looking forward to:

Greggs cheese pasties
Greggs belgian buns
Greggs cheese savoury sandwiches
Greggs chocolate cookies

Yum!

Birthquake

Apparently there has been s surge of births at the Christchurch Womens Hospital because of the earthquake. The continuing seismic activity is setting them off, or maybe it is the stress. I spoke to one of the farmers at work and she says that when her cows won't give birth she puts them in the trailer and drives them up and down a rought track until they do. If I had known that last year I would have sent Jo along when she was overdue.

Panic Buying

Christchurch is mostly calm and orderly but there are some concerns about shortages of essential items and I share those concerns. So on Thursday I braved New World to do some panic buying.

I headed straight for the wine section and scooped up 4 bottles of cheap wine. Over 70% of the regions alcoholic beverages have been destroyed and it wouldn't do to run out. They don't provide booze at the Welfare Centre either.

Now I am feeling much more relaxed about the situation.

Earthquake Survival Story

The huge earthquake to hit just north of Rolleston has been quite undramatic in the town. The house seemed to pitch and roll like a ship in a storm but I never thought it was going to fall down. A plant pot fell onto the floor just beside where Jake was sleeping but he didn't seem bothered by it. He didn't even move.

He has been looking a bit forlorn recently but that might be because everybody has left him.

There are quite dramatic pictures in the papers but there are only a few buildings with dramatic damage I think, although lots might end up being pulled over. There is lots of damage to roads and sewage, with some roads having been dragged sideways or suffering huge cracks. It will be quite expensive to fix.

So that's it. An understated natural disaster. That's the Kiwi way.

Wanting a Pony

The inevitable has happened. Now that Lily is 4 she wants to have a horse. It could live in a stable behind the garage, she reasons.

I suggested that the garden wasn't big enough. "We could just get a bigger garden" she thought.

But you can't just make the garden bigger, we said. "No," she replied, "We could just get a bigger house, in a bigger garden".

Problem solved...

Speedy Toby

Toby is now 11 months old and crawling speedily across the floor. He likes to make a run for it when his nappy is being changed. He crawls like a puppy, wiggling his bottom as if he had a tail to wag, cackling wildly as we chase him.

Kids Fest

In some places, us parents dread the winter holidays when there's nothing to do and the empty days stretch ominously unfilled into the distant horizon. But here in Christchurch the council puts on Kids Fest which fills the days up with stuff.

Yesterday they had a bouncy castle and face painting event in the car park at Rolleston Square shopping centre. And then we went to the lantern parade in Christchurch which was unexpectedly good. Hundreds of people turned up and followed a giant blue sun starlantern thing to Cathedral Square for a free sausage sizzle event. The salsa band from the school of music came along and provided drum and trumpet noise. All the kids brought torches or paper lanterns.

Blagging a Ride

In the shopping centre at Hornby there is a coin operated merry go round for the kids. It seats three at a time. It is only quite recently that Lily discovered that it goes round. We liked it that way as its $2 a time.

Today we paid for her to have a go. Then someone else turned up and she got a free go. Then she wouldn't move off the roundabout in case she could get another ride. Which she did. Twice. "Haven't you got any more money?" she asked the mother of the last child at the end of the ride. She'll be harranging strangers for cash next.

The Pool Situation

This weekend we have been to the QE2 pool on the other side of Christchurch. New Zealand takes swimming pools seriously and this one is amazing! It has an in-pool playground complex with Greek statues and plastic starfish. It has a huge lazy river with whirlpools and a fake beach with real waves that crash on the shore. It's quite overwhelming actually. I couldn't really take it in when I first got there.

We are hoping to get our own pool in Rolleston but it has split the community. Half of us want it because we have to drive for half an hour each way to get the nearest one in the city. The other half don't want it because they don't want to pay the extra rates. The Council will make a decision soon.

Lily's Party

Last weekend was Lily's fourth birthday party. One of Jo's friends dropped us in it by asking what theme Lily was having for it - so then we needed a theme. We did the house up like an underwater grotto. Here are some pictures.

Band of Brothers

TVNZ has started showing Band of Brothers. It’s an American series about the Americans in the second world war after D Day. The British only appear occasionally and then only to cock things up for the Americans. Is this really what happened in the war?

No wonder the UK is in such a mess.

Soap or Deodorant?

We are going away to Oamaru for a few days, camping by a river. I am just deciding if I need to take the the soap or just use deodorant? It's only a few days...

I asked Jo what she thought. She just gave me one of her special glares!

194 and counting

About 3 months ago I got a new mobile phone. It has a counter which tells the user how many text messages they've sent. I am on 194, with 213 received.

I try not to but I check my total all the time. And I have become obsessed with sending messages to get my score up. I get 100 free texts to use in the month after I top up with credit. That's at least 3 a day I need to send to get my money's worth.

Whilst you contemplate the above statistics, why not take a look at this picture of Toby in his walker.

More Crap Telly

Tonight on telly seems to be tacky documentary night. We have a choice of Half Ton Son (fat people) or My Monkey Baby (mad people and their pets). Or a program about estate agents.

A few months ago I was wishing we got channel 4 in this country. Now I am thinking Channel 5 would do.

Here's a picture of Toby, aged almost 5 months now.

Imagination

I took Lily to the playground today. She mostly likes to play imaginary games, pretending she is someone else, like Dora the Explorer or a dog called Angustina-kneela. We are usually expected to join in. I was hoping she would run around and tire herself out and give me a break from trying to remember who I was supposed to be.

Instead we pretended the climbing frame was a house and the loose bark chip ground was a sticker album, with the stickers being the individual bark chips. One was a ballerina. Another was a ballet man (whatever they are supposed to be called). Another was a ballet dog.

Sigh.

CSI: Los Angeles

The year has started in the worst possible way. TVNZ has announced the start of a new CSI. Not just a new series either but a whole new show in a whole new city with a whole new team. This, for the uninitiated, is the fourth series. Just as I was thinking they must surely call time on the whole thing, having run out of good ideas about six years ago, they have gone and escalated the situation, clogging up the airwaves with more preposterous plots featuring ever more exotic ways to die for ever more spurious reasons. The whole thing just gives me a headache.